dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
