very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
