I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
zippers are such a cool invention
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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