I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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