I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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