Swine flu. Run for my life!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
