sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
All the doctor said was why
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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