dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize