i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Randomize
