Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
