Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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