dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
