so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
