so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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