This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
