Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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