I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
