i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
