I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
