I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
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I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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