you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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