I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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