i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
