and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
