so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
