I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
