She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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