You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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