Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
this boner is exhausting
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize