as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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