508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
