my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize