i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize