So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
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I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
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Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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