i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize