look no pants
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
did i walk over a car last night?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
