I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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