We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
