So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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