Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think your dad took our porno
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
