Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.