OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
