Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize