in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Randomize
