So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
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When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
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Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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