theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
