The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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