ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
