He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
