where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
