This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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