i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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