"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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