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Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We are two peas in an std pod
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
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