fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
