problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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