I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.