she was so not down for the gang bang
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Randomize
