i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
